Friday, December 20, 2013

Shock Up and Coming Greenworld 1986

Shock Up and Coming Greenworld 1986 CAT #GWD90504

Oh fuck!  What a craptacular turd of a metal band these guys are.  Yet, there's so much the band Shock gives you talk about, where to start...

I'll start with the looks, clearly, that's what the band is concerned about.  My copy has a bright pink hype sticker proclaiming, "SHOCK ROCK | Debut 9-Track Album From Kansas City's Most Outrageous Psychedelic Glam Rockers!"  The hype sticker should be the first clue that this is going to suck.  But, maybe the idea of psychedelic glam-metal turnsed heads in 1986, Enuff Z' Nuff played that card, they had some success, right?  And, they are proclaimed to be the "Most Outrageous" in KC, I mean, c'mon, it's KC, that's got to be pretty outrageous.  And if the hype isn't enough, you see the photo, tough guy posing, dressed and done up like women.  No one was doing that in mid 1980's, right?

The back sleeve is pretty awesome, too.  You see the band in better light, they got make-up on and are surrounded by what I assume are "groupies."  Are these KC girls?  Did their moms approve of this?  Out of the 6 girls, I'd say only two are slutified for the photo and none of them appear all that "hot."  That should speak to the quality of the music, if you can't pull in KC's slutiest and hottest groupies, you probably aren't that good.  Oh, they did the nickname thing, too.  Because you can't have big hair and tight pants without a quasi-porn star nickname.  There's Carlos Gunn on bass, Eric Saxan on drums, Max Maddux on vocals, and Damien Shepard on guitar.  I assume the nicknames benefited them later in life in that they could always lie about being a member of this band since very few would know the band's real names.

Below the names is a "Notice" that states the following, "This album contains weird psychedelic metal currently the rage in the American headbasket.  Consider yourself warned."  Okay, again, when was psychedelic glam-metal a thing?  I'm pretty sure the band has no clue what "psychedelic" entails in relation to music.  They also give a classy copyright notice that states, "Warning from Shock:  Unauthorized duplication of this work is prohibited by law and subject to prosecution and nasty treatment of your younger sister."  That, I'm not sure I get.  Who has a younger sister?  The 18 to 21 year old chick you want to bang?  Because, that would make "younger sister" a felony in a likelihood.  Or, did they assume dressing in spandex and using lipstick and eyeliner was going to attract full grown men to their music?  Again, hair metal was cool to a lot of people, but not metal heads.  Those dudes listened to Anthrax and Metallica.  Hair metal was all the rage with middle school age boys and teenage girls.  So, again, it's either referencing girls that are going to be far too young, or, you're picking a fight with a bearded guy in a jean jacket with Maiden and Black Sabbath patches.  I don't think you want to encroach on that dude's sister, regardless of age, while you're wearing hyper-color spandex and make up.

Also, on the backside, you see an actual label invested money into this band.  What the fuck?  Someone funded this?  Someone at a record label green lighted all this nonsense.  Seriously, I've had this for about a year, I always assumed it was a private press local thing.  But after some research, I discovered Greenworld Records is an actual label out of California, with a diverse catalog.  They signed a simlar KC band called Vyper, they did some thrash metal, some hardcore punk and even some King Diamond stuff.  Why they decided to release KC hair-metal is beyond me.  No one I know in town references the glory days of the 1980's KC metal scene.

So, now the music.  Yeah, again, I stress someone funded this.  It sounds awful.  It was recorded at Kondor Recordings in KC, which after hearing the quality, I'm pretty sure is someone's basement.  In fact, that's confirmed as the recording address is the same as the Shock Fan Club address.  But, to the recording, the levels are all over place, there's unattended distortion, the drums are buried.  And the vocals, they are terrible.  I don't think Max Maddux is a bad singer, but he could have tried a litter harder, done a few more takes, especially when your voice cracks or your metal yelp is poorly timed and not in key.  It's as if they did the demo, sent it to the label and the label agreed to put it out as is.

And the self-proclaimed "psychedelic metal".  Fuck.  I'm pretty sure that means a ton of useless feedback effects, a single backward vocal effect, and bass lines that other metal bands weren't using (but plenty of funk bands were).  Because it has nothing to do with hard English psych-rock like Wimple Wench or the Pretty Things.  It has nothing to do with mid-60's American Garage.  And, it obviously has nothing to do with well known psych like Piper at the Gates of Dawn or the American San Francisco scene of the late 60's.  It doesn't even have anything to do with 70's stoner-rock.  The dudes draw 80's pop-metal like Quiet Riot and Twisted Sister.  Lots of hardcore chorus chants, guitar solos, and meaningless vocal yelps.

Admittedly, I was surprised that the band is hard-edged as they are.  When I found it in a dollar bin, I thought they'd be along the lines of Poison, Bon Jovi, that ilk of shitty chick-metal.  Instead, they came from the Motley Crue school of glam metal which isn't metal at all, but hard rock for morons.  They only do one ballad, they like charging rhythms and they sing about stuff they dealt with when they were going through puberty.   The want to touch girls' boobs, hate authority (parents included), and brag a lot about getting drunk.

The lyrics are the best part, because they are hilarious.  Listed below are some of my favorite lines:

"The night is almost gone, there is no more beer, freshen up the air up, I think the cops are here."  From the tune, Shock Rock.

"White leather stretches your every little curve, I like to look but you're getting on my nerves, I'm up on my toes you keep me so alert, I'm meat and potatoes but I always need desert."   From the title track, Up and Coming

"You always bitched about the debts I owed, and getting drunk down on Westport Road, coming home at 5 A.M., bloodshot eyes and twenty empty cans."  From the song, BFD.

"Undercover lover with your lipstick lies, I'll give you sensations you cannot deny, you said you won't sweat it, you're trembling with freight, so much misery to the sinner's delight."  From the track, Out For the Kill.  

Pretty stellar, right?  I mean, who could pass up this much absurd bullshit for the MSRP of $6.98 in 1986.  And, if you get the lyric sheet you also get some classy action shots along with a great set of liner notes.  The band gives a "SHOCK Up Yours Awards" on the thank-you's, dedicate the album to all the headbanger's (wherever they live and breed) and cites Kansas City as a "totally happening metal nest."

I can't find any suck-ass Shock songs to share, but I bet this guy on Facebook knows what I'm talking about

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